Sunday, December 7, 2008

Mark Twain, Rodney Dangerfield and Mahatma Baba

It's been 3 and a half months since I last wrote anything. Well, I have been....busy. Anyway, here I am back again to writing but since I am all rusty, this is what I will do - throw in some Mark Twain one-liners followed by my favourite Rod Dangerfield one-liner followed by my own sporadically written pieces of what I thought was funny.

Mark Twain:
  • The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
  • It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
  • The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
  • Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
  • I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Rodney Dangerfield - my favourite

I don't get no respect. I played hide-and-seek, and they wouldn't even look for me.

Mahatma Baba

  • - "I came, I saw, I conquered" - Julius Caesar - to succinctly describe one of his victories
    "I saw, I conquered, I came" - Mahatma Baba - to add to the list
  • There's no such thing as a free lunch unless you look good in a tight skirt.
  • To err is human, to err again is Bengali.
  • Everything that blinks is not an indicator
  • How does a lawyer change the case he's working with?
    He presses Caps Lock
  • Heard about Chetan Bhagat's "The 3 biggest mistakes of my life"...well reading it was my biggest mistake
  • What will happen if India is chasing 324 in a day-night match against Australia?
    All out and good night
  • What do you call a tubelight which takes 10 mins to get lit?
    A tubelight.

P.S. I haven'd added too many of Rod Dangerfield's one-liners, even though each one of them betters the other, to prevent my own list from loosing any sheen - it's not like I am comically challenged or anything but it takes a lot of effort to write succinct pieces of text, put everything into context and be articulate and funny at the same time.

1 comment:

PUJA said...

Heheheheh..Made my day!